How do you know for certain that the universe is sending you a message? Sure, the universe actually sending me that invitation to spend the evening toasting to George Clooney could be considered a sign– but who can blame me for missing something that subtle… for three weeks. Besides (warning, wild justification to follow) if
Ladies– this is a public service announcement. Always read your junk mail. In fact, read your junk mail thoroughly and before you look at your bills. Sure, it might look like just another advertisement listing a bunch of information you have no interest in– and sometimes…. yeah. I received what looked like junk mail about
Ever contemplate just how aerodynamic your couch is? Burning questions like: Will it actually hit the pool if hurtled from my balcony? Will it clear the hedges? Should I warn people below? If so, you too may have been taking part in the time honored tradition known as “The Purge” (recently memorialized on Gilmore Girls).
Inventors have conceived of a wedding ring that heats up the day before an anniversary. The person gets a series of increasingly warm signals from the ring. The last reminder burn would be over 100 degrees. All this in an effort to help make sure a man actually remembers to buy some flowers (or whatever)
Some people in our lives are never meant to leave us… Which is too bad really because some people should just stay gone, damn it. 😉 I received an email today from a lovely woman in another state, who I have never met, thanking me for my “in memoriam” donation to her fine arts organization
Ok, people. This is not a drill. The following story made the rounds this morning– just to annoy the photogs, George Clooney will be dating someone different every night. Now I know in the past I have been reticent about dating actors (or… um… anyone), but I’m willing to make an exception for the delightful
Given my tremendous near success with Mr. “Taylor, the latte boy” (ok, not really, but in my memoirs, it will be), I decided to saunter by Starbucks again today. I was looking good– hair wild (which in fantasies is suddenly transformed into honey blond with cascading waves rather than brunette and wind-knotted), innocent, yet flirtatious
CNN today reports that researchers claim that too much testosterone kills brain cells. … Well… duh 😉 Anyone ever see a guy jump off a club balcony into the waiting arms of the pit with flaming toilet paper in his ass? Right there, you say to yourself, I’m sensing something might be off here. We
My iPod led me astray. From here on in, this will be known as the iPod defense. Can you perform an exorcism on an electronic music device? I know that there are people who cleanse homes… hmmmm yellow pages under…. Yeah, no. I should start by telling you that I am obsessed with my iPod.
People of Los Angeles– take cover. I control the weather and some forms of electricity. I just thought you should know. I sense skepticism. June gloom started last year in January. You think that was weather patterns? Please. My boss resigned in January. My mood was bleak, therefore, the weather was bleak. Why else would