Another Power

People of Los Angeles– take cover. I control the weather and some forms of electricity. I just thought you should know.

I sense skepticism.

June gloom started last year in January. You think that was weather patterns? Please. My boss resigned in January. My mood was bleak, therefore, the weather was bleak. Why else would a city known for 365 of sun be blanketed in gray every morning?

You know that blackout a couple of months ago? Me. That morning I received the engagement announcement from my ex. For some reason, I felt the need to take it out on the city around me. Apparently the raw build up of emotion took out the power grid all the way into Santa Monica– for 12 hours. Sorry about that. Sure, it was one of the hottest days of the year, and the power levels were critical– but no, it was me.

Still not convinced? Same night, electrical storm over the airport.

Another slight complication– the power is contagious. At the very moment of the electrical storm, my innocent (yet slightly pervy) friend, Chloe, was driving her ex to the airport (from here on known as Jacob, the Haitian boy, although his name is neither Jacob, nor is he Haitian– just go with it). She’s not a confrontational sort, but she swears she was unknowingly feeding off of me.

What can I say– she hit one for the team… over and over…

Chloe had the overwhelming urge to let Jacob know about every (kick) thing (kick) he’d ever (kick) done (kick) that was unacceptable (kick, kick) while they were dating (wham). And they’ve been apart for a while. And I would apologize to Jacob for the attack, but, eh… 😉

I think we can all be grateful that I don’t live in the tropics where hurricanes are the order of the day.

People, please heed this warning. I’m becoming increasingly frustrated at work. Be prepared. Buy parkas and rain gear now.


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