I’ll admit that I can become somewhat obsessive about my weight from time to time. I’ll go through phases where I’m very dedicated to getting down to a certain size (more to be able to fit in my clothing better than to hit a specific number, though). I’ll gear up to do more exercise. I’ll remorsefully decline the morning chocolate chip muffin. I’ll eat fewer nachos at Pink Taco.
You know what I won’t do? I won’t buy a tapeworm off the Internet and swallow it in hopes that something other than malnutrition and intestinal blockage will occur. But I might be alone in that, as this article I just read at USA Today might indicate: Iowa Woman Swallows Tapeworm to Lose Weight.
I suppose I don’t know that kind of desperation, so maybe I shouldn’t judge, but it seems so incredibly dangerous. It makes my “I’ll only eat green things” diet seem completely reasonable. Those seemingly crazed LA-ites doing the juice cleanse thing–they seem completely rational now.
I just can’t wrap my head around this. And even if the tapeworm was a safe and proven method of weight-loss (which it is not), the part about swallowing a worm bought off the Internet (THE INTERNET, PEOPLE!!!) would give me pause. And then more pause. And then more. Sure, maybe in a self-pity moment late at night, I might be able to see myself hitting the “buy now” button on the screen. But actually swallowing that thing when it arrived? Uh, no.
What is the craziest diet you’ve ever tried? And if you say “tapeworm,” please know that I will have questions (such as “How drunk were you?”).