These are the fashion questions I want answers to today. Please consult your experts (or Wikipedia).
- Are there any police officers or detectives reading this blog? This question is for you, particularly if you are female. When you go out into a dangerous situation on the job, do you routinely wear only a tight tank top, skinny jeans and six inch stiletto boots? Because television tells me that this is exactly what you do. Now I feel like I can’t be a detective because I’m not hot enough, when really, I think it should be because I don’t know anything about solving crime (yes, despite the fact that I am a writer).
- Why do women date men who wear skinny jeans? I feel like any time I see a man really rocking those jeans, I become uncomfortably aware that his thighs are smaller than mine… because they are. I don’t need to add to my list of relationship insecurities. Also, he can’t move in those things. He can’t dash into traffic and save an elderly person from a burning car—and yes that is one of my new criteria for dating someone.
- Hipsters, what’s with the wool cap when it is 110 degrees? No one thinks heatstroke is cool. They think, “What’s with the dumbass wearing a wool cap when it is 110 degrees?” Or maybe that’s just me.
- Does anyone think men are actually taking the polls that Yahoo! keeps putting up about women’s fashion? I keep seeing headlines like “Sexy clothing men would love to have you wear on a Tuesday” (ok, not really, but close enough). Naturally, I click on these links because some part of my brain desperately wants this information only to then roll my eyes after reading these articles because (shockingly) no straight man has ever cared this much. I’m not saying men don’t have opinions on whether or not a girl looks “hot,” I’m saying they aren’t hoping that I look “innocently flirty,” as opposed to confident on a Tuesday. Then again I don’t date. Maybe they do.