Emergency Friend System


For years I’ve heard about the dating practice of having a friend on standby who will make an emergency phone call to you so that you can escape somewhat gracefully from a bad date. Unfortunately, everyone else has heard of this system, too, so graceful has sort of flown out the window. Since that more subtle form of rescue has been exposed, a friend and I have now activated a literal Emergency Friend System.

Let me explain.

I went on a friend’s first date last night (and live tweeted some of it here: @katedating). It was in a public place, so our plan didn’t have so much to do with safety, but about being prepared. For instance, if the guy had merely blown off the date, she and I would have just continued watching the Nets game (perhaps ordering another round). In that scenario, there would be no sitting alone in a corner with the dawning realization that your date is a no-show. As the date did actually arrive, I remained as the back-up plan. If the date was a disaster, she could just active the EFS, and I would either interrupt the date by joining them, or she’d leave it to come “meet” me. This is planning, my friends. As it turns out, I was given the all-clear after the bartender and I had spent some time observing body language for signs of delight vs signs of alarm. Mission accomplished.

It did get me thinking. Maybe I should make EFS a commercial enterprise. Not only would I provide the basic service on your public first dates, but I would add those special extras: checking to make sure your lipstick isn’t smudged, or on your teeth, and making sure your hair isn’t sticking up. Also, I could give pre-date pep talks along the lines of: “No, he could be great!”

What do you think? Would you pay me to be your EFS?

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