I think we need to radically shake up the dating world. I know what you are thinking: she’s going to urge widespread abstinence until people get back to actual relationships rather than random sex. No. Well, yes, but not right now.
I’m thinking that we need a benevolent dating guru to create a massive blind dating experience. Don’t picture some hideous speed dating thing. No, rather picture Oprah. Remember how she used to give everyone in the audience a car? That’s exactly what I’m going for here. You can see her, can’t you? “And you get a date! And you get a date! And you get a date!”
Also, Oprah has very famous friends, so this wouldn’t be the average Internet crap shoot. This would be a crap shoot on a much bigger scale (and with far greater potential for public humiliation). Revisualize. “And you get George Clooney! And you get Blair Underwood! And you get David Duchovny! And you get one of the Stark people from Game of Thrones that Claire likes so much!
You can feel this, can’t you? I mean, I think I’m really onto something. There are only a couple of minor obstacles that I need to get over first. For instance, I don’t know Oprah, and I’m not sure it is ethically or morally sound to give away people. Once I work those little issues out, we are set.
Are you with me, ladies?