Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve started paying attention to music videos in a way I really haven’t since the good old days of Friday Night Videos. This is what I’ve learned so far. Videos by female artists tend to be romantic. Unless they are break up videos, the men seem courageous, honorable and … well, romantic. This is what I’ve learned from Rap videos by male artists: men want a harem of women who will dance in little clothing, service them sexually and then rotate out for the next batch.
I can see how the female version would be daunting to men. It’s hard to live up to that ideal. You think you’re a good guy, but your abs don’t ripple, and sometimes you need to think about work rather than how to shower your significant other with affection.
As for the other side, well, that’s a lot to live down to. No matter how much make-up and styling I have, video vamp is not going to be on my resume. And I don’t want it to be because I don’t understand how “mindless provider of vaginaI access” could ever be aspirational.
Where does this leave the rest of us– the ones who are neither romantic hero, nor fantasy dancer?
I’m not really sure. The ideal seems to indicate that we’re all destined for disappointment (if we’re holding out for it). The disparity certainly concerns me. It’s not really a wonder that men and women feel so disconnected if they’ve repeatedly seen images so in contrast to one another.
I’m going with avoidance as my solution– as in I’m going to avoid looking for men who want that fantasy. It’s either that or start investing in booty shorts, and I think we can all agree that that would not be pretty.