Vehicle flirtation devices

One of the things that people know about LA, even if they have never been here, is that we have traffic… lots and lots of traffic. Whether your commute takes you over surface streets or freeway, if you live in Los Angeles, you will be spending a lot of time in your car.

Therefore, it should be of no surprise that an entire dating subset has been created to better use this traffic time. It is called the “vehicle flirt”. Hey, if you are going to be stuck, might as well try your luck at the dating wheel of fortune.

You would not believe how many stories you hear about how people met their hook-up, girlfriend or spouse while stuck in traffic on the 405 (or driving 85 mph on the 405 for that matter). What does seem to be key in getting this to work, is either a suicidal traffic partner, or a method of communication from vehicle to vehicle that allows for stops, starts, lane changes, high-speed chases, cut-offs and off-ramps.

The first method is a tried and true flirtation—the eye catch and smile. I’ve tried this, and it has gotten me… um… absolutely nowhere, actually. But I’m sure that it could work for other people. I don’t know how this works for guys, but ladies, we know how to sweep for intel. Personally, I can throw out just the briefest glancing blow of eye contact and take in what he’s driving, relative height, relative weight, if he has other passengers, if there was a car seat, if there is a ring, mother’s maiden name, voting record, if he’s still hung up on his ex-girlfriend, whether or not he’s been circumcised … You know, the basics. Theoretically, if the other driver picks up your eye pass and responds, you could be turning down a side street to exchange phone numbers.

The second method allows for not only the flirtation, but the continuation of driving. Sometimes you can’t just pull off on a side street. Sometimes you need to keep heading to your destination (like when Grey’s Anatomy is about to start). This is where the yelling witty sayings out the window while driving 85 skill comes in handy. Once you get a little banter going, you could be getting his phone number shouted at you. I think it probably works the best with the guy shouting his number—otherwise, I’m picturing a huge multi-car pile up because all the guys around the two primary flirters are also writing down that phone number the girl has just shouted. Needless to say, this method works much better when everyone is basically parked either because of a traffic jam, or because the police have shut down the freeway/street for the ongoing high-speed chase. Hell, if it is a shut-down, you could technically have your first through third dates while waiting for the all clear signal.

The third method is for the truly skilled. It is for the professional. It involves the “vehicle flirtation device” (and yes, I have actually heard of this working). The “VFD” is a series of handy white boards kept in car with pre-written greetings for your fellow drivers. It’s usually something a little saucy to inspire intrigue and maybe a laugh (hair toss, with a giggle, while driving…). For instance, mine would read something like: Yell to me your social security number so I can begin the background check. Yep, something saucy like that.

Anyway, I’m hoping that someone out there reading this has had some experience with vehicle flirtation. If it has worked for you, I want to know. And I want to shamelessly steal your material for my own white board, gaze, banter, whatever. Hey, conventional methods are not working for me. The car flirt may just be my ticket.

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