In an ideal world, I think I should always live like a blood test was right around the corner.  Now you all might live well every day—you might exercise regularly, eat all your leafy greens, never partake in a glass of Pinot Noir and get at least eight hours of sleep a night. Also, you might have achieved a stress-free state of being.  If that is you, congratulations! Please send me exact instructions on how you managed to create that state of perfect blood test readiness.

I… well, I have not achieved that yet.

What I have achieved is the perfect state of “I really need to eat more spinach before my blood test” awareness.  I have also achieved alcohol-related paranoia along the lines of “I really shouldn’t have that glass of wine because on the test it could look like I’m an alcoholic even though I’m hard pressed to remember drinking more than two glasses of wine in a single month in the last twenty years.”

I’m not sure what I think my night before the test preparations will do. It’s not like one salad the night before is really going to wipe out a week of junk food. And yet, here I am piling on the lettuce. If I take a few deep breaths, I’m not sure that will wipe out a lifetime of stress. But it can’t hurt, right?

Logically, I should live every day to its healthiest and then there would never be a “night before the blood test” drama. Logically, I see this.

And yet, is there really a better treat than french fries after a blood test? I think not.