My friend Pen was having a bit of a sleep, and the dream that filtered through was of Pen having (no doubt) deep and meaningful conversation with a certain married actor. Apparently, this moment of great intellectual discourse with the man who once played someone tall, dark and spooky became… um… romantic. But just as she was moving from osculating to something a bit more horizontal, she stopped. And she told him “no, I can’t.” Why? She claims to have heard a little voice in her head saying “this is wrong—he’s married”. That’s right. She heard me. From that day on, she has referred to me as “Kate, the Fantasy Killer”. It’s a moniker I take great pride in, mostly because I like to be difficult (t-shirts will be available in the lobby). For some reason, she was slightly less amused that I’m moralizing in her dreams, but hey… we’ve all got a calling.
Anyway, with certain exceptions (and I’m betting some of you can figure out what those are), I’m not someone who is going to enable that kind of extracurricular activity. So, imagine my shock when I saw this ad running on my blog about the lovely and talented Bonnie Hunt, courtesy of Google:
Nice. How about an ad that says:
- “Married, but feel unfulfilled—talk to your spouse”
- “Married, but feel unfulfilled because you are a selfish bastard”
- “Married, but think the world is yours to screw with because you’re completely entitled to be the center of the universe”
- “Married, but you don’t think the rules apply to you”
- “Married, but took those vows to be more like helpful suggestions than anything truly binding”
- “Married, but because she’s working, taking care of the kids and the house, she didn’t spend enough time oooh and ahhhhing over your stupid court case– so you think it’s ok to hook up with someone who will be more suitably impressed with you?”
- “Married, but like the idea of splitting everything you own because you live in a community property state”
- “Married, but miss the possibility of catching an STD that makes your dick shrivel”
- “Married, but your picture of your life always involved someone much younger and blonde, and what the heck, you’ve earned her”
- “Married, but getting a promotion, and your current wife doesn’t match your new office”
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