What is it with the ads that adorn my pages these days? Check out the one I found on my Myspace page the other day:
How the hell do they determine whether or not someone is unfit to date? I mean are they using criteria like criminal records? If a person has been convicted on multiple counts of rape, the liability issues alone might make that person look like a bad candidate. That would make sense to me. Maybe this particular service is just really looking out for its customers. Maybe you have to submit blood tests and social security numbers so they can screen out for STDs and nefarious deeds (and existing marriage licenses). All those things would be helpful. I might even be tempted (might, I said might!) to consider giving them a shot.
Why do I get a feeling that in actuality the dating service is more like the modern day version of the junior high school slam book? I have this image of a bunch of bitchy high school girls sitting around saying things like:
“OH EM GEE, did you see her profile picture? That shirt was totally last season. She’s going to drag our numbers down.”
“I can’t believe this girl didn’t think to get her teeth capped before taking that profile photo. Next!”
“I heard from Stacey’s mom’s brother’s ex-boyfriend’s assistant gardener that she might still have pubic hair, and she’s never bleached her anus. What the F? She’s totally unfit to live, let alone date.”