Obviously, many people mistake me for a top model. Between my near midget size and my penchant for sensible shoes, it really is no wonder. Sure, sometimes it is awkward for me—people stare. I am constantly getting questions like: “are those orthopedic shoes?” or “how did you manage to find a turtleneck in every color?” I have to just take people aside and tell them—“Hey, I’m a person, just like you—just so much more fashionable.”
Yeah. Not so much. In The Devil Wears Prada world, I am the pre-transformation Andi. Anna Wintour would never give me a nod, or even a hint of a smile. Most of the time, I feel good about that. Comfort is my guiding force.
And then I saw these: aka morally wrong.
Much like the Grinch, my small heart grew three sizes that day.
Obviously, there is no good reason to spend $1250 ($1400 if you count shipping) for boots that couldn’t touch rain or snow or pavement or grass or anything but the loving caress of angels.
And yet…oh, the sudden temptation. I’d go from weeble to umm…taller weeble. I have been relatively invisible most of my life. I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to ignore anyone wearing these boots.
But obviously morally wrong… and I don’t have anything to wear with them. Ok, one thing, but other than that these really don’t fit into my current life. Of course, they do fit into my fantasy life rather nicely. The one where my bottom is human sized, and George Clooney drops by with a pizza.
And I’m wearing these boots.
I tried to appeal to my friends—my responsible, reasonable, level-headed friends. Surely, they would present the logical arguments against this kind of frivolous, excessive purchase.
So far, not one of them has landed on the side of “don’t buy them”. In fact, I’m now keeping a record of the most inventive justifications. I think my favorite so far is “Not only would I wear them every day, but I’d wear them to bed”.
I’m opening this up to the blog community. Would you? Wouldn’t you?
Which, of course, I wouldn’t because it’s morally wrong… you know, mostly.
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