Does anyone else here keep getting “freeze your eggs before it’s too late, which it practically is already, God, you’re old, seriously, time is not only ticking, but you’ve basically expired, your womb is heading toward arid and abandoned, I mean we’re talking about the Sahara down there” brochures in the mail?
I swear, I get one of these brochures about once every month, or two, now. It always features an adorable baby and an older woman (which means the model is probably 22) looking happy and playful. You know there is some sort of virile, delighted male presence standing off in the shadows. Not doing any work, of course, but he’s lurking somewhere pretending to be helpful.
Here’s the funny thing—the fine print has an age limit remarkably close to my own age. In fact, I’ve already passed the optimal freezing age. So, this groundbreaking technology is almost as beyond me as the low tech options.
I never really thought about having kids. It was never a generic goal. When I was with The Ex, I thought about us as parents. When that ended, I didn’t think about it anymore.
It’s not upsetting exactly. It’s more like disconcerting. I just assumed that ultimately it would be my choice. Looks like life may end up making that choice for me instead.
The next brochure will probably be specifically for me—as in the type on the front will actually say “Kate, Congratulations on killing your prime reproductive years on Prince Waste-Your-Time and then compounding it by mourning his loss for years and choosing to spend next weekend with him and your mutual friends in the place where you met. For the low, low price of…”
Yeah. Got to love the junk mail that makes you question all of your life’s choices.
P.S. If you are thinking what I think you are thinking—I know, and it is Chloe’s fault.