I may have expected too much from my new life—or at least I may have expected fabulousness to begin occurring with a rapidity that was unrealistic. I feel enormous pressure to find something amazing every day, for no other reason than I think I believed that to be so. I had this “look out world” moment, and so far, the world has yawned. Spielberg hasn’t called. Clooney hasn’t called. And I’ll admit I’m still mired in paperwork.
This is what I’ve learned so far:
- I am bad at being idle. I may get better with time, but I’m already looking around me wondering what I can fix, clean or organize.
- I should remove the “employed” requirement from the dating wish list. Some of the most fabulous people I know don’t have jobs at the moment.
- I have very much enjoyed having lunch with friends and not having to worry about work waiting for me. Let’s keep that one going. Though I’m unemployed, so you all will have to keep picking up the check. Sound good? I knew it would.
- I’m going to be spending a lot of time in Venice over the next few months. When I’m not flustered about the problems with parking and needing to be back north at a specific time, it’s a pretty groovy place with a ton of good, not always wildly expensive, restaurants. Though the person who tried to give me the pot license information was definitely suffering from some serious delusions about my being there.
- Brownie bites are good for more than a week.
- I’m writing more than I ever thought possible. I’m chalking that up to the fact that I don’t have something else sucking every bit of energy I have out of brain through my ears. (Note: I didn’t say that I was writing well, only that fingers are flying over keyboards)
- I’m already having nightmares about money and ever finding a job. This is ridiculous. I’ve planned for this. I’m ready for this. And it just started. Clearly, my brain has not quite caught up with my new “go with the flow” attitude.
- I’ve quite my job with relatively little waking fear, yet I’m too nervous to begin sign up for tennis lessons. Apparently, some new I can handle, and some new is just too much.
- For the first time in years, I want to dance.