Well, that’s just wrong! Sark-A-Like and I have been divided by cruel fate. He has been taken away to Department 1A—which sounds vaguely sinister and akin to being drafted into some type of clandestine service to plan for world domination. Of course, he’ll hear none of those plans because of that earphone fetish he seems to be sporting. But no matter! Sure, I can hope that they reject him in a way that I never would, and send him back to the assembly room. But what if they don’t? Tragedy.

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