Dear Serenading Neighbor,
I understand that there are times when the music just takes you, and your soul demands that you sing “Love Will Keep Us Together” at the top of your lungs. Who doesn’t love the Captain and his Tennille? There is many a drive to work that has included my stunning renditions of “Muskrat Love.”
Was that a snicker? Sir, you are in no position to laugh.
Nina Simone was an amazing singer. I get that you would want to pay homage… for three or four hours…last night… when I was trying to sleep. And again at 3:25am. However, the neighbors screaming at you from below your window did not seem to feel the same degree of music appreciation that I was experiencing. Perhaps you had on headphones and couldn’t hear the villagers gathering with their pitchforks? That might also explain the somewhat atonal quality of the vocal stylings.
I’d like to believe that you are preparing a serenade inspired by Lloyd Dobler himself. If that’s the case, let me know. I will hold your boom box (not a euphemism).
If not, perhaps you should keep in mind that there is absolutely no sound-proofing in your apartment. And that “feeling good” becomes somewhat less thrilling the later the hour and the greater the number of times you decide to sing it.
I’m not saying that you should stop—sing on, good man; sing on. But perhaps the zeal could come on a little earlier in the evening?
Oh, and if you actually turn out to be John Cusack reminiscing, I am absolutely willing to forgive you (and I have an entire book of duets that could be perfect for us).
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