Oddly enough, it seems to match my hair color right now. It was pointed out to me by CB that it might be a bit too “matchy-matchy” for me, and she could be on to something. Otherwise, this would clearly be perfect… for New Year’s.
Nautical could be good. I’m pretty sure the stripes would make me look enormous, but I could rock the hell out of those epaulets.
Also, they are very pointy which means I could defend myself with my lethal shoulders in case one of the groomsmen tries to get fresh!
How about this one? I know people who can make a dress like this work. They are 6’2″ model types, and would look fabulous in this. Also, Joan Collins could make this sing (because, really, it says Dynasty sweeps episode all over it).
Sadly, I am neither Joan, nor a 6’2″ model… or a 5’2″ model. When the mannequin wearing it is taller than you are and wearing a size zero with fabric brushing the floor, you know it’s a losing battle.
It appears as though dresses that harken back to either “the oldest profession” or the Ice Capades are very popular right now. And really, brides should take this into consideration and just add the words “on ice” to their wedding planning.
The good news is, the bride has assured me that looking like a whore will be fine as long as I don’t wear white. Fair enough, though she has asked me to leave my skates at home. Whatever.
Despite the dress drama, I’m really looking forward to seeing Lauren and Brian tie the knot on Saturday. It has been a long, long, long, long time coming, and they give me hope. If they could also give me a table full of single, straight, employed men who shower, that would also be lovely.