Lying on the First Date

I’ve been reading a slew of statistics about the frequency and quality of the lies that people tell either to land a first date with someone, or on the first date. Obviously, many of the statistics focus on online dating and the hows/whys of creating a slightly more appealing you in order to score an in-person meeting.  According to (, both men and women frequently lie about physical appearance and age.  Apparently, women throw in some additional lies about weight, and men toss in some about income.

Needless to say, most of those lies don’t really work when you are on a first date with someone you’ve either met casually prior to it, or are meeting for the first time. For instance, it would be absurd for me to tell someone that I’m 5’10” and just hope they won’t notice that my legs swing when I sit on bar stools. Plus, I’d have to avoid ever actually standing. Frankly, I’m not sure I could pull of 5’4” unless I’m wearing serious heels. Also, anyone I’m meeting will probably notice my physical appearance. It’s hard to get around that one. I can’t blame a bad picture—though I would probably try blaming poor lighting (it should almost always be darker).

I would have one other slight difficulty in this situation. I’m a terrible liar—always have been. I learned that at an early age. Combine that with the fact that I’ve tended to get into relationships with people I’ve known for a long time rather than dating strangers, and the likelihood of me lying on a first date has always been slim. Unfortunately, the filter I normally employ while trying to make a good first impression is also not functional. Is that going to work? Does anyone really want a brutally honest first date? 

My fear is that honesty is not always my most engaging quality. This fear sent my fingers flying over Google entries about the lies women tell on first dates to appear more interesting. Frankly, they seem like self-sabotage. As it happens, I really do like football, but if I didn’t, lying about it would just mean 17 weeks this year (regular season) of pain and suffering. Similarly, if I meet a man who hates football, I’m not going to suddenly cancel my DirecTV Sunday Ticket and take up whatever it is that people do on Sundays that doesn’t involve football. Compromise? Sure. But I’m not going to lie about it.

Though obviously I am shockingly perfect in nearly every way, I recognize that there are things about me that might not be wildly appealing to social men. For instance, the whole “I hate leaving my apartment, and you can’t come here” thing. That can add some hurdles. However, telling someone that I’m super social and love to party (so he thinks I’m fun) sounds like a recipe for disaster.

I am entertained by the number of sexual lies that seem to pop up on first dates. I don’t think that will be a problem for me. You’ve met me (or virtually met me). You frequently joke that I have “Fuck off” sign on my forehead. “Touchy Feely” person isn’t a term that will ever be used to describe me. I feel fairly confident that any man who actually wants to date me is going to let those questions sit for a little while.  Then again, I had a friend who was asked all about her preferred method of birth control by a guy she had not yet met (but was matched with online). So, I guess you never know.

Have you ever told any small, medium or big lies in order to get a date, or keep a first date interested?  Come on Internet! I need to know… as you did not exist the last time I tried to date, and I only had the wisdom of my apartment mates at my disposal.

While you are pondering, take a look at this video: 10 Lies Everyone Tells.   I have a feeling there are one or two things in there that we can all relate to even if we don’t lie about them on a first date.



2 comments on “Lying on the First Date”

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