Kate: Why aren’t you taking Michael to the premiere?
Sadie: We aren’t believable as a couple.
Kate: But you are a couple.
Sadie: Yes, but the public doesn’t like us as a couple. They haven’t bought into our love story.
Kate: We’re still talking about your real life, and not the show, right?
Sadie: Of course.
Kate: I see. So, how does Daniel fit into this?
Sadie: He’s going to be my premiere and events boyfriend.
Kate: As opposed to your actual boyfriend?
Sadie: Right. People are really into us as a couple.
Kate: But you aren’t a couple.
Sadie: True. But our believability rating is much higher.
Kate: Believability rating?
Sadie: It’s a “must consult”. If you don’t look sincere, you have nothing.
There is a very small pool of single, straight, employed men who shower in Los Angeles. Getting two of them to cover your public and private bases (euphemism both intended and not) does not seem particularly fair.
Plus, I’m suspicious when a man answers, “Sort of” to the “Are you single?” question. Are you telling me that “some days” is now a completely legitimate response? Or are these men automatically off limits not just because they are dodgy, but also because somewhere there will be a publicist ready to cut me if I somehow disrupt someone’s believability index?
As an aside, “I’m just there to work her carpet” sounds obscene and very nearly slap-with-a-hint-of-flounce worthy.
“Truthiness”: it’s not just for Washington anymore.