Happy Monday

Here are little known facts:

  • If any part of your Sunday night is spent thinking, “I’m not a religious person, but if that Rapture thing happens right now, I won’t have to go to work tomorrow”, you know it’s going to be a rough week.
  • If you exchange texts with a friend [ahem, you know who you are] that say anything along the following lines, “Is it wrong that I don’t want to fall asleep because if I do when I wake up, it will be Monday, and I’ll have to be go to work”, you know it’s going to be a rough week.
  • If you start to think that winning the lottery is a more viable alternative to financial security than your actual job, you know it’s going to be a rough week.
  • When the power goes out forcing you to shower in the dim light of your emergency lamp, you know it’s going to be a rough week.
  • When the elevator in your building is also on strike because the power is still out, forcing you to walk down several flights of stairs, in heels, also by the dim light of a flashlight, on a Monday morning at 6:00am, you know it’s going to be a rough week.
  • When the straps on your tank bra give out, after you’ve already arrived at work at 6:30am on a Monday morning, forcing you to grab a safety pin and pray, you know it’s going to be a rough week.
  • When Monday morning’s next adventure involves an email telling you that you have missed a submission deadline, a deadline you were never informed of in the first place, you know it’s going to be a rough week.
  • When you tell yourself that it will be all ok if you can just grab a quick plain bagel and juice so you can start over, only to find that there are no plain bagels and the juice is making you sick, you know it’s going to be a rough week.
  • If you spent any part of the weekend laughing with a friend and saying, “I swear the guy looked a lot like [fill in blank with favorite celebrity male], but there’s no way it was, so I didn’t even stress about going up to thank him for his help”, only to find out after all of this that [fill in blank with favorite celebrity male] was in fact in your neighborhood, you will start to think that alcohol on a Monday morning might be a good idea.

And I just got a paper cut.

It’s going to be a rough week.

Happy Monday all.

8 comments on “Happy Monday”

  1. AJB

    Okay, so did all of this REALLY happen to you today???? Curious minds want to know.

  2. Helen

    What was he doing in your neighborhood and how did you NOT know it was him?p.s. Take the rest of the day off and try again tomorrow!p.p.s. If we weren't meant to drink in the morning, God wouldn't have given us the Bloody Mary.

  3. Kate, Dating in LA

    @AJB Yes. Yes, indeed. I'm tempted to take a picture of my safety-pinned shirt and bandaged finger. But that would be effort, so… :)@Helen Because I thought he was in New York. And because I'm stupid and never assume I'm going to see him as I'm standing on the corner waiting to cross the street to go to the post office. Though I should, since that's the same spot where I last saw Harrison Ford.

  4. Karen

    Why can't "Monday" (yes, referencing, lol) just start over for ya today?! I can't believe it was him…it was HIM, right?Oh, and at least you had a safety pin. Those darn things are never around when you need em…and I am talking about the safety pins, lolSending a virtual hug…would send a virtual drink, but in your case, an actual one would be better.Here's to a better week.

  5. Kate, Dating in LA

    @Karen, yep. HIM. And yes, the day needs to start over, as long as I don't actually have the exact same events happen again.Oh, and I just hit myself in the mouth with the phone. Seriously. Gave myself a fat lip just by picking up the phone.

  6. Dee Murray

    Really!? Really?? This does not bode well for the rest of the week. It isn't even noon yet. Oops! Now it's noon. Nothing but up from here…(was it really him? And what did he help you with?)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *