The world is in desperate need of a Single to Dating Dictionary—and by “world” I mean “me.” Clearly, I can’t be the one to write it; largely because I don’t understand modern dating language (also, most of the euphemisms used on Californication). But let’s start simply. If you can help me with these three very basic ideas, I’ll be one step closer to success (and let’s not dwell on what “success” would actually mean).
- Hook Up.
What does this currently mean? When I was in college, “hook up” for my friends meant kissing and perhaps a little bit more (aka “No, we just hooked up—it was nothing serious”). There was no sex involved (Clinton definition or otherwise). Alas, now it appears to mean something far more naked. At the rate we’re going, in another three years “hooked up” will mean “married with three children.”
See above for an example. What does this mean in a dating setting? For me, any activity that could hasten my death, create life or increase my taxes equals serious. But I’ve actually heard someone say, “We’re just living together; it’s nothing serious.” Wha? In that case, which dating/relationship stage does constitute serious? I mean, if I’m discussing Russian literature with a guy, and he says, “I’m married, but it’s not serious” should I be fazed?
I continue to struggle with this one. Maybe my problem with the word “later” is more of a miscommunication between the sexes. When I hear the word “later” I think that means “later that day.” Men appear to mean “any time after this point, but more than likely next week…possibly.” Is there a set definition for “later” in the dating world? If not, let’s make up one now—and force everyone on the planet to comply in order to get me one step closer to world domination (ahem).
Next week, we’ll conquer the word “date”. This one is very tricky and apparently should not be used to describe a meeting for a set time period between two people who find each other attractive and have some romantic intent toward one another. Because calling that a “date” is crazy talk.
If we were to actually create this Single to Dating Dictionary, what definitions would you need?