The world is in desperate need of a Single to Dating Dictionary—and by “world” I mean “me.” Clearly, I can’t be the one to write it; largely because I don’t understand modern dating language (also, most of the euphemisms used on Californication). But let’s start simply. If you can help me with these three very basic ideas, I’ll be one step closer to success (and let’s not dwell on what “success” would actually mean).

  1. Hook Up.
    What does this currently mean? When I was in college, “hook up” for my friends meant kissing and perhaps a little bit more (aka “No, we just hooked up—it was nothing serious”). There was no sex involved (Clinton definition or otherwise). Alas, now it appears to mean something far more naked. At the rate we’re going, in another three years “hooked up” will mean “married with three children.”
  2. Serious.
    See above for an example. What does this mean in a dating setting? For me, any activity that could hasten my death, create life or increase my taxes equals serious. But I’ve actually heard someone say, “We’re just living together; it’s nothing serious.” Wha? In that case, which dating/relationship stage does constitute serious? I mean, if I’m discussing Russian literature with a guy, and he says, “I’m married, but it’s not serious” should I be fazed?
  3. Later.
    I continue to struggle with this one. Maybe my problem with the word “later” is more of a miscommunication between the sexes. When I hear the word “later” I think that means “later that day.” Men appear to mean “any time after this point, but more than likely next week…possibly.” Is there a set definition for “later” in the dating world? If not, let’s make up one now—and force everyone on the planet to comply in order to get me one step closer to world domination (ahem).

Next week, we’ll conquer the word “date”. This one is very tricky and apparently should not be used to describe a meeting for a set time period between two people who find each other attractive and have some romantic intent toward one another. Because calling that a “date” is crazy talk.

If we were to actually create this Single to Dating Dictionary, what definitions would you need?


3 comments on “Dictionary”

  1. Dee Murray

    LOL! You can tell the last time I actually dated because the first word that came to my head was "tiramisu". Clearly I've watched Sleepless in Seattle way too many times.

  2. Carey Hagan

    We need an accurate definiton of "touch base." I am sick and tired of hearing this. Often it means a). to bore someone in a meeting; b). to call them and leave a cryptic/inaudible cell phone message; c). email them a forwarded article which has no bearing whatsoever on the recipient's day/life/mental state. I move to have it removed from the language entirely.

  3. Lily

    In my effort to kick start my dating life I started reading your blog. So to start, thank you for being a resource!I thought it would be a good idea to document my journey and my first blog entry I talk about the "hook up" and how great the vague definition is. That the ambiguity can work to ones favor and maybe we shouldn't give it definition http://lilyandthelike.blogspot.com/2011/02/preface-year-of-smoosh.html. As for serious and later I really can't speak to those just yet. You're on target with my sentiments on later though. Arg! Pure frustration.

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