True Story

True Story
(aka Things About Me That Would Surprise Absolutely No One)

When I was young, I could not watch soap operas without running out of the room when the kissing started. You see, I understood that the people on television were actors and that what I saw on TV was not real. So, in my mind, because they were actors and not deeply in love, the kissing was wrong. You could not kiss someone you didn’t love (I’m not saying I still think this is true… but I might).

Then I started to rationalize: it would be ok, if they were wearing some sort of mouth guard. I remember staring very intently at some characters on One Life to Live in order to spot what was surely some sort of plastic wrap that would protect them from accidentally making mouth to mouth contact with someone they weren’t “with” in real life. Shockingly, I never found it. Those make-up artists are good.

14 comments on “True Story”

  1. Dee Murray Reply

    LOL! Don't make me break out my "Secret Agent" story..! And today, where is your "mouth guard" check? They have them now! You should be getting paid a hefty sum from these guys!

  2. Dee Murray Reply

    LOL! Don't make me break out my "Secret Agent" story..! And today, where is your "mouth guard" check? They have them now! You should be getting paid a hefty sum from these guys!

  3. Dee Murray Reply

    Dammit! There are RULES? OK. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a secret agent (even more than a starship captain or a princess!) but I decided that this was a career I could never pursue because having sex outside of marriage was wrong and in the movies secret agent women are always asked to have sex with bad guys for secrets. And they have to stay awake to see if they talk in their sleep and write down all the secret stuff they say. And I really like my sleep. How can I stay beautiful (and therefore continue to be a spy) if I don't get any beauty sleep because I'm waiting for the bad guy to say something amazing and top secret? Plus I didn't want to go to Hell. LOL! So there we have it. Another excellent career choice down the tubes all because of those pesky morals!!

  4. Dee Murray Reply

    Dammit! There are RULES? OK. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a secret agent (even more than a starship captain or a princess!) but I decided that this was a career I could never pursue because having sex outside of marriage was wrong and in the movies secret agent women are always asked to have sex with bad guys for secrets. And they have to stay awake to see if they talk in their sleep and write down all the secret stuff they say. And I really like my sleep. How can I stay beautiful (and therefore continue to be a spy) if I don't get any beauty sleep because I'm waiting for the bad guy to say something amazing and top secret? Plus I didn't want to go to Hell. LOL! So there we have it. Another excellent career choice down the tubes all because of those pesky morals!!

  5. Carey Hagan Reply

    I love it. You _dancers_ will appear virtually _nude_ on stage yet you're all squeamish at heart: ahahhaaha! Kissing is kinda gross when you think about it, actually.

  6. Carey Hagan Reply

    I love it. You _dancers_ will appear virtually _nude_ on stage yet you're all squeamish at heart: ahahhaaha! Kissing is kinda gross when you think about it, actually.

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