That Ad Says What?

I’m not a big fan of adultery. Don’t believe me?

My friend Pen was having a bit of a sleep, and the dream that filtered through was of Pen having (no doubt) deep and meaningful conversation with a certain married actor. Apparently, this moment of great intellectual discourse with the man who once played someone tall, dark and spooky became… um… romantic. But just as she was moving from osculating to something a bit more horizontal, she stopped. And she told him “no, I can’t.” Why? She claims to have heard a little voice in her head saying “this is wrong—he’s married”. That’s right. She heard me. From that day on, she has referred to me as “Kate, the Fantasy Killer”. It’s a moniker I take great pride in, mostly because I like to be difficult (t-shirts will be available in the lobby). For some reason, she was slightly less amused that I’m moralizing in her dreams, but hey… we’ve all got a calling.

Anyway, with certain exceptions (and I’m betting some of you can figure out what those are), I’m not someone who is going to enable that kind of extracurricular activity. So, imagine my shock when I saw this ad running on my blog about the lovely and talented Bonnie Hunt, courtesy of Google:

Nice. How about an ad that says:

  • “Married, but feel unfulfilled—talk to your spouse”
  • “Married, but feel unfulfilled because you are a selfish bastard”
  • “Married, but think the world is yours to screw with because you’re completely entitled to be the center of the universe”
  • “Married, but you don’t think the rules apply to you”
  • “Married, but took those vows to be more like helpful suggestions than anything truly binding”
  • “Married, but because she’s working, taking care of the kids and the house, she didn’t spend enough time oooh and ahhhhing over your stupid court case– so you think it’s ok to hook up with someone who will be more suitably impressed with you?”
  • “Married, but like the idea of splitting everything you own because you live in a community property state”
  • “Married, but miss the possibility of catching an STD that makes your dick shrivel”
  • “Married, but your picture of your life always involved someone much younger and blonde, and what the heck, you’ve earned her”
  • “Married, but getting a promotion, and your current wife doesn’t match your new office”

Kate, The Fantasy Killer (and just slightly disgusted)

6 comments on “That Ad Says What?”

  1. danielletbd Reply

    But you have to look at the fine print there: Meet Married WOMEN. So obviously the women are feeling just as unfulfilled in their marriages and are signing up for the same service (or it’s all a big act, like those sex hotlines where they just say whatever you want to hear). And if that’s the case, yeah it’s sad, and yeah it’s morally questionable, but just because they’re married doesn’t mean they’re dead, and if they’re unhappy they should have a shot to reverse that. IMO, they should leave the marriage first so that it’s not adultery, but some people are so weird about that! If both are sins in the eyes of the church, which is the lesser of two evils?

  2. Kate, Dating in LA Reply

    LOL!! Yeah, I would never advocate staying in a bad marriage (and there is no doubt that women are also engaging in this bad behavior). But to me, if you are going to cheat, particularly in a systematic, planned way like this, get out of that marriage and then do what you want. LD emailed me last night and said that there is actually a service like this that does adverts on the radio!! I mean, people really have no shame.

  3. Kate, Dating in LA Reply

    Cari,My friend just told me that she has seen television ads now for this type of service. She said the first time she saw it, she kept waiting for the punchline because she thought she’d hit an old episode of SNL. Crazy, crazy world.

  4. Helen Reply

    I have to agree that the cheating thing is just wrong. If you and your spouse happen to have some sort of arrangement, then that’s fine–lucky you! If you feel your needs are not being met in your relationship the first thing you should do is TELL YOUR SPOUSE WHAT THOSE NEEDS ARE. People have a crazy notion that their significant other should know via telepathy or instinct what they want so they don’t ask. Then they get put out that they aren’t getting what they need. Which leads to the justification that he or she “doesn’t really care about me so I’m must looking for someone who does.” If you find they really don’t care about your needs, then end the relationship and move on. Look, I’m the first to admit that the idea of monogamy may not really be possible for homo sapiens. On the other hand, if what you’re doing involves lying to the person to whom you once pledged eternal love, it’s the wrong thing to do.

  5. Kate, Dating in LA Reply

    Helen-Wait? Did you say talk through your problems with your spouse before you cheat? That’s crazy talk! 😉 Yeah, it would be nice. And to a certain extent, I think both sides (male and female) expect our feelings and thoughts to be so obvious that the other should just “get” them. But it does seem like guys are ready to find certain fixes outside a relationship faster than the women involved.

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