I recently, seriously contemplated going back to dance class. I’ll admit that I don’t exactly remember how long it has been– 7 or 8 years, probably– but over the last couple of weeks, I’ve thought about it more and more. Naturally, this means I haven’t done it.
You see, I am starting to employ some fairly elaborate stalling tactics that have thus far kept me out of the studio. The most successful one being that I couldn’t possibly go back to class until I get back in shape. That’s right, I want to exercise before I start to exercise.
I do have some very real concerns. Living a largely sedentary lifestyle means that jumping back into a two hour class will take a significant toll on my body. My knees have always been my weak point. After so many years, starting again in a mixed beginner/intermediate class might be requiring more mental and physical recall than I’m capable of right now.
But when you get right down to it, I’m stalling. There’s a certain degree of fear involved. A room full of strangers who could be judging not only my missing technique, but my waistline, isn’t really a welcoming image. Actually, a room full of strangers rarely is to me. Fear of disappointment and a demonstration of exactly how much time has gone by are also swirling in the mix.
So, I stall. It’s like refusing to online date until you’ve lost enough weight/gotten a new haircut/dyed your hair and finally taken a “good” picture. Sure, you want to put your best foot (or face) forward, but the possibility of disappointment and hurt are there, too. Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and do it (declares the woman still sitting at her desk).