Look, I don’t ask for much.
Ok, that’s not true. I ask for a lot, but I don’t get it, and then I pretend that I’m fine with that. But still, I’m not asking George Clooney to stop dating models for me. I’m just maybe thinking that at some point, I’d like to meet a man with whom I can have semi-interesting conversation. It doesn’t even have to be often. I’m an independent woman—I’m not looking for a caregiver, a father figure or a bank roll. But there is a romantic streak deeply hidden inside me (deeply, deeply, deeply hidden). So, when I got a pop-up from another friend on Facebook that had the magic words “soulmate” and “survey” during a long morning at work, I thought, “Why not?”
So, I took the survey called “When will you meet your soulmate?”
I thought it was a valid question since I feel like I’ve been alive a while now, and that soulmate should be popping up any day now. Also, a girl has to be ready, and I’ve been putting off getting my roots done, have some upcoming charity events and work keeps threatening to bring me back to New York. I thought for planning purposes alone, I should check to see what soulmate’s schedule looks like.
Naturally, I opened the survey and began at the beginning.
It was just staring me in the face: “When do you want to get married?” Simple enough question—clearly designed by children who still have hope that they have any control over that sort of thing, but a simple enough question. Unfortunately, it was also a question I couldn’t answer. You see, the survey had a multiple choice option with a set of age spans. The problem? The oldest age span on the survey was 5 years YOUNGER than I already am. In essence, it was telling me that someone as aged as I am, should have either met the man, or I never actually had shot at meeting him. Either way, I am out of luck. Thanks for playing.