I bet you are thinking to yourself– “Where is Kate?” and “Did her wild Hollywood lifestyle take her far, far away so that she is no longer capable of blogging?” Here are some possible reasons for my blogging absence.

1. Island Get Away. It is a possibility that I went to this place to run away from even the possibility of dating: http://www.mg.co.za/articlepage.aspx?area=/breaking_news/other_news/&articleid=299970 Who wouldn’t want a paradise like this? No men. No men hassles. No men issues. No men bullshit. No “I’m going through a selfish phase”. It’s probably warm. The burka is very forgiving of those extra-slice-of-pizza pounds.

hmmm I’ll admit, the prospect of “no man island” has periodically been enticing, but then I realized that my apartment is already a virtual no man island without some of those more restrictive rules. And if I continue to hide here, weight gain wont be noticed here either. So, nope, the island get-away was not the reason for my absence.

2. Torrid Love Affair. Another possibility is that I’ve finally been cast in a movie as the much sought after female lead character who becomes embroiled in a torrid love triangle– caught between David (as in Duchovny) and George (as in Clooney). It’s sure to be not only a box office sensation, but also my first Oscar nomination.

While I’m sure casting directors are frantically dialing day and night in order to locate me, alas, I have not yet been snagged. So, no, this wasn’t it either. Although, seriously, cds call me.

3. Wild Hollywood Lifestyle. It is a possibility that the whirlwind weeks of Oscar parties have left me in a coma born of decadence. Not a good possibility since I hate leaving my home even for work, but technically a possibility. Oddly enough I did attend a pre-party for Global Green http://globalgreen.org/events/event_details/oscar_party_2007.html with my friend B. We were fabulous and had a lovely sustainable and organic time. Although if we find out that Wolfgang catered it, we may need shots.

Sure, Leo was obviously smitten with B, while Orlando tried valiantly to get my attention. We even tested the theory that accidentally pouring a drink down a guy’s back gets you nary a scowl if you have legs for days (and proved it to be 100% true– B, not me, as I have legs for seconds, not days). But we left them all wanting more.

4. Clooney, Clooney, Clooney. We all know that when Julia kept asking George whether or not he was dating someone, he was trying not to give our love away to the media. That was so obvious. I love that he is being discreet.

But no, George and I haven’t eloped, or groped, or… um… met. Any day now.

5. A Boy Flirted. Another option is that a boy flirted with me, and I was so thrown that I was incapable of speaking, let alone writing. Yes, this is true. I’m pretty sure a boy sent me a flirty email which confused me, so I haven’t responded to him yet. I’m thinking of making someone else do it. Surely, there is someone I can pay to do this for me, right?

But no, not the reason.

6. Lazy. Ding, Ding, Ding. Yes, I’ve been lazy. However, some friends have posed interesting dating questions and issues that must be addressed. Soon. Right after my nap.

Kate