Remember this blog: http://katedating.blogspot.com/2011/04/1-year.html ? Well, the question posed there might not have been a rhetorical one.
I’ve found myself at the end of one particular career path. While I won’t go into details, I began to wonder why I was doing the things I was doing. And while no one loves to complain more than I do (hello, I have a blog), even I couldn’t listen to my complaints anymore. Deep down I knew that the only person who could make me happy was me—so I’m taking a leap.
I’m taking the next year off from my normal life.
I’m leaving my job of 16+ years. I’m leaving stability and consistency for something completely unknown.
I started pre-school at 2 ½ years old. I worked in the interim year between college and graduate school, and I’ve never been without a plan. But at this moment, I literally have no idea what I’m going to do. I want to travel. I want to write. I think “Executive Producer and Writer” sound like excellent titles when paired with my name. I want to take random classes on art history at the Getty in the middle of the day on a Tuesday—just because. I want to take internships to see another side of the world around me and not worry about the fact that they don’t pay, or don’t pay much. I want to learn to play tennis. I want to finish a book in less than two months (reading one or writing one). I want to go to an airport, stand in front of the departures board and pick a flight. I want to be invested in whatever I’m doing, and eventually, I would like to feel like I count again.
I’d be lying if I said I haven’t had a moment or twenty of panic in the last two weeks. The paperwork alone has been stunning. I’m absolutely certain in the coming weeks I will have at least one all consuming desire to beg for my job back while rocking back and forth asking myself, “What the hell was I thinking?”
Ok, that’s likely to happen more than once.
No one is suddenly going to knock on my door and offer me a better life (and let’s face it, when someone knocks on my door, I don’t answer it), so this is my attempt at taking it. If this experiment ends with me broke and begging for my old life back, I’m going to seem stupid. If this experiment is successful, I’m going to seem brave and insightful.
Today is my last day.
It’s the end of the road. Or at least that road.