Day 1: But I am My Blackberry

It turns out that the first thing to throw me about my new found “adventure” was not the relatively late wake-up time (slept in until almost 6am, thank you very much!), and it wasn’t the lack of frantic emails on a Sunday night about the work week. It was my missing Blackberry.

I have perfected the roll and check. Typically, the alarm would sound at around 4:30am (technically, 4:33am because I’m weird that way). After the customary round of “why God why” was completed, I would roll over and check my Blackberry to see what the day would hold. But that sounds too banal. It really was a thing of beauty. Clearly, my advanced dance background has something to do with the grace and extension involved in plucking the device from the nightstand.

Today, I woke at 5:55am without panic. Intellectually, I knew that I had nowhere to be. Instinctually, however, I executed my roll, extend, hold and… got nothing. There was a moment of genuine consternation.

I sat up.

My Blackberry was gone.

Oh, right. New Life. New world. New adventure.

But… um… who am I without my Blackberry?

Sure, I hated the incessant buzzing and flashing red lights. It interrupted everything and all the time—vacation time, sleep time, Californication set time (unacceptable!)… But I realize that it was also shorthand with people: that’s right, I’m employed and “important” because only someone truly vital to their organization would be this constantly in demand and/or connected to a small, annoying electronic device. It became part of my identity. I was always checking it.

And now I’m… uh…not sure exactly…

But it’s only Day 1 of the new life. One step at a time. There is bound to be some separation anxiety in this transition, right? Eventually, my hands will stop shaking, and I will find a new device to bolster my ego and hide behind—I mean, a new and better purpose…obviously.

Just out of curiosity, though, is there therapy for this sort of thing?

 

 

2 comments on “Day 1: But I am My Blackberry”

  1. Dee Murray Reply

    I woke up this morning, rolled over to check & see which Nigerian Prince was willing to take me away from all this, sang my "Why, God, Why" solo, then soooooooo envied you. I told one of my co-workers this morning that by the time I die, I'll have no soul left to go to heaven. It will have been crushed copletely out of me. At least you can find out who you are on the beach, not a doctor's couch with a box of kleenex and a co-payment.

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